


let's meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well

by smallredboy



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Banter, F/M, Flashbacks, Hook-Up, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Season/Series 06, Slut Shaming?????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Lucas has something to tell Cuddy.





	let's meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tumblr user bolaid](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tumblr+user+bolaid).



> my hand was forced into writing house/lucas and, voilá.
> 
> enjoy!

Lucas has been considering how exactly he’s supposed to tell Cuddy about his…  _ escapade  _ for a few days now. She complains about her job, about House and his team, about how she’s tired of how he’s so desperate to be in a relationship with her, and he just hums and rubs her back and tries not to think about that time back when he was spying on Wilson for House. Those were some good times, but also, he’s dating Cuddy now. He needs to stop thinking about it— but he needs to tell her before it can escalate. House will definitely bring it up in Cuddy’s presence; he doesn't know if to ruin his relationship with her or to ruin her relationship with him. Both, most likely. He’s a greedy bastard.

He hums as he rubs her shoulders, Rachel peacefully asleep in her crib. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment, but if he doesn’t say this now he won’t ever get it out of his system. He rubs Cuddy’s shoulders and back carefully, massaging her and getting every knot in her muscles out of the way.

“Lisa,” he says, “I… have something important to tell you.”

She turns around and raises a brow before pecking him on the lips. “What is it?” she asks.

God, he feels like he’s coming out to her. But she knows he’s bi, and she’s bi too, so there’s no big deal yet. It’s just — the specific man he slept with. His life is a mess, but he hopes it gains some shape now that Cuddy’s in it. 

Instead of leading up to it, making some build-up, he blurts out, “I slept with House.”   


Cuddy looks horrified, her mouth opening. He interrupts her— “Way before I even met you! When I was working as his PI. I didn’t cheat on you with House, I’d be fucking  _ crazy  _ to do that!”   


Cuddy’s horrified look remains. She pulls away from him a little. “You— I’m not mad. I’m just… extremely confused. And also curious. You slept with House while he hired you?”   
  
“Yeah,” he nods. “It’s happened before.” He looks away and drums his fingers on his legs. “I assume you wouldn’t want any details. Knowing details about your boyfriend having sex with your employee who is obsessed with you must be weird.”   
  
Cuddy puts the back of her hand against her chin and leans into the sofa, giving him a smile. “Actually, do tell me about it.”   


“Okay,” he nods. “So…”

* * *

 

“How long are we going to be here?” House asks, tilting his head.

“Depends on if you want me to find out anything about your friend or not,” he mutters, frowning. “If we cut it short we might not find anything out about him and what he’s been doing after he abandoned you.”

“He didn’t abandon me,” he snarls, looking peeved. “But we could also not find anything out about what Wilson’s been doing while still being right here.”   
  
He looks up at him and gives him an unimpressed look. “Really? I was sure you harassed your usual employees, but—”   
  
“Oh no, don’t think you’re exempt.” He laughs a little, but it’s devoid of much humor. “You do reciprocate this, though. I wouldn’t put it past you.” He sits back down, his face twisting a little. “Young P.I. gets hired by a manipulative older man, immediately becomes seduced by his _evil charm_ —”   
  
Lucas stands up and straddles him, grumbling. “Shut up,” he says.

“Mm,” he shakes his head. “I’m your boss, remember? I do the orders.”   
  
He swallows nervously and blinks, settling on House’s lap. “Okay.”   
  
House laughs coldly and starts pressing kisses against his neck, tickling him with his overgrown beard, making him shudder and squirm against his grip. “You’re too easy. How many people who’ve hired you have you slept with?”   
  
He blushes and stutters as House starts working his shirt off, playing with the buttons, teasing him every step of the way. He’s a mess, hips twitching as he’s seated on House’s lap, House not making any attempt to make this more comfortable or faster. He wants to take his sweet time— he has the idea that he’s using him to cope with losing his best friend in the entire world, or whatever. It wouldn’t surprise him.

“It- doesn’t matter—” he breathes out.

“Oh yes it does,” House says, kissing his jaw, beard scraping up against it. A soft moan leaves his mouth. “How much of a slut are you, Douglas? That’s what I’m interested in, not your entire sexual history.” He pauses. “Oh wait, the same thing.”   
  
“You're the fourth client I've slept w-with,” he answers as House starts working his pants off, voice downright airy. 

“Hmm,” he replies, pulling him down a little before pulling him into a frenzied kiss, all teeth and tongue, with no regard for pace or time, no care put into it. He eats it up, whimpering into House’s mouth as he kisses him senseless. When he pulls away, he’s a little dizzy with desire. “And say, what client number total am I?”   
  
“Uh,” he doubts for a second. He doesn’t have that many clients; not too many people need a private investigator. “Twentieth.”   
  
“One in five clients you sleep with,” he says. “I’d consider that whorish. What d’you think, Lucas?”   
  
He whimpers when he pulls him down into another kiss.

* * *

“So,” Cuddy says, looking at him with an impressed look all over her face. “You hooked up with him— while on the job— and he just kept being demeaning and all that, typical House stuff. And you _got off_ on that?”

Lucas blushes and stammers a little. “Maybe?”   
  
“God,” Cuddy laughs, pulling him into a quick kiss. “Tonight is going to be so much  _ fun. _  I’ve got so much material for it.”   


Lucas exclaims a little at the declaration, feeling his pants tighten. “That’s not fair.”   
  
She kisses him again. “I never claimed I was fair,” she tells him with a wicked smile. “Thank you for telling me, even if it’s just an embarrassing secret.”   
  
“It was mostly because House will bring it up eventually, and I wanted to have you in the know before he did, you know?”   
  
“Also because it’s hot.”   
  
He pauses for a few seconds. “You think it’s hot?”   
  
“I don’t like House, but the fact you’ve slept with your clients, including him? That’s hot.”   


Lucas blushes and accepts what comes after eagerly, Cuddy’s touch feeling like fire to his skin, scorching him alive with pleasure.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, House finally has the idea to bring up the fact he’s slept with Lucas to Cuddy’s face.

“And, anyway, how does it feel to be dating a gay man, Cuddy?” he says mockingly. “One would think you’ve already fallen for their honey traps but, again…”   
  
Cuddy doesn’t even look up from her papers. “Lucas already told me he slept with you.”   


House nearly drops his cane. “He  _ told  _ you?”   


Cuddy’s smile is the smuggest it has been in years.


End file.
